The Dangers of Tulgey Wood
by yerkhater
Summary: Thanatos the catterpillar decided to let Abbot the white rabbit have a bit of the mushroom... To make him feel bigger, be more confident... It certainly made him scarier... Poor Abbot... Rated M for yaoi and foul language!
1. Introducing Abbot

**DISCLAIMER: I would just like to say that I did not create Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, because if I did, I would be a lot smarter than I am right now.**

_**Ah, if only I had a brain... wait... wrong story...**_

* * *

Abbot ran quickly through the Tulgey wood, his large and floppy shirt collar with the diamond near the points flapping in the breeze . The king was going to kill him this time, he just knew it! He had to visit the White King, Mad Hatter, then the Duchess, then the Hatter again, then go back to the palace, then run back to the Hatter's place, and report back to the palace after the ordeal is through with. It was all because of tarts! The King wanted some tarts to give to the Duchess and to contribute to the hoard for the Hatter's never ending tea party.

* * *

"First," the blonde drag queen had said, leaning on his axe, the rubies on it complimenting the black crown with rubies on his head at a tilt, with his dress being made with blood red and black stripes, "You must go to the White King, and get jam to spread on the Hatter's toast. IT IS CRUCIAL THAT THERE IS JAM! TOAST CANNOT BE TOAST WITHOUT THE JAM! IS THAT CLEAR?" The startled rabbit nodded at the ash black sharp point that was near his nose, his fluffy cream bunny ears lowered behind him, cowering. "...Good." The ruby studded axe was withdrawn, and the King examined his reflection in the mirror, fixing his moderately long hair to look alluring. "Oh, and after you give the jam to Hatty, you can take his sugar with you to the Duchess, and you must take one of her babies off her hands, she's got plenty to go around, and they'd taste delicious in the tart."

Abbot's eye twitched. _What is wrong with his majesty? Cannibalism is one of the worst taboos! _He watched as the mad King ran his finger on the sharp edge of the axe, drawing blood. He ran the blood over his lips as a substitute for makeup. The king smiled, satisfied with his face's appearance, and sucked on his injured finger. _Oh, yeah. Blood lust._

"Anyways, then you take some of the Duchess' flour, and take a baby over to the Hatter's. They'll enjoy looking at it before it's eaten, I'm sure. When you're done there, come back to the palace, and I'll make the tarts. Take some to the Hatter, then Duchess. She always did have a fondness for the tarts... Oh and if you can, say Hi to Demitri for me~"

* * *

Abbot sighed. He was dead. He was going to be very fast if this was to be done by sundown. He slowed down at a large white gate, with intricate designs of a lion and a unicorn in an epic battle.

"Abbot!" He heard only this as a warning before a red haired, but almost blonde dog boy as tall as Abbot's shoulders appeared out of nowhere from above, wrapping his arms around the rabbit's neck tightly, so as not to fall as Abbot spun around from the momentum. The boy with the white collar reached his head up and kissed Abbot's cheek, his bright orange eyes squeezed shut from happiness.

"Hi, Toby." Abbot smiled and set down the dog boy, who began digging in the Rabbit's pocket until he got a precious chain. A golden watch. He skipped happily, his ginger-blonde tail wagging excitedly, and he put the back of the ticking clock to a key hole, and, to the dog's surprise, glowed bright blue.

"That's funny... It usually glows cream colored... like your ears..."

Abbot walked up to investigate, his unruly shoulder length hair quivering with the rest of him in fear. "What does that blue glow mean?"

The dog smiled. "You'll meet someone new today!"

Abbot laughed nervously. He wasn't sure he wanted to meet new people. He barely liked the people he knew already, besides Thanatos and Toby. All the rest of them had weapons that they used constantly, on each other and themselves, and Johnathan's residence just sat there all day long talking riddles and drinking tea, along with other things... It was a wonder the Hatter stayed thin. "I don't know what to think about that..." He took the watch from the door and hurried inside. "Wish me luck with the king!"

The dog waved. "Luck!"

* * *

Abbot crept inside timidly, looking around at the Diamond Soldiers standing against the wall, all having a number on their chest, and a red diamond over their heart. He saluted in respect, which was rare for a 'Queen' to do. "Good evening, sirs."

"Good evening!" he heard them all chorus. They took great pleasure when someone besides another soldier actually took the time out of their day to talk to them. A little blonde boy, barely old enough to get into the deck, sneezed. The Ten blushed furiously. "So sorry, sir! I'll try not to next time! I-I didn't mean to go out of order-"

Abbot smiled. "Quit apologizing. Everyone gets colds." He examined the boy a short while, and muttered, "But why are you standing here if you have one?" Then he spoke aloud. "You may go home, Ten. Come back when you feel better. I'll deal with the king."

The small card's face brightened. "Thank you, A-Abbot! Oop- I mean-"

Abbot laughed. "If you know my name, you may use it." The rabbit went to go to the King, then paused. "Ten, what is your name?"

The card blushed. "Gweir..."

Abbot's eyes smiled. "Heh, what a cute name." He then walked off towards the king's study, leaving the soldier standing there speechless until Nine pushed him gently to signal him to get going home.

* * *

"Err, Your Majesty?" Abbot creaked the door open fearfully. "I need some jam. The Queen of Hearts said that Toast cannot be without Jam." He sighed. "Is everyone psychotic here?"

He heard a laughter. It wasn't like someone giggling, it was more maniacal... More... Crazed. "Yes, but there's always a reason." The white king came into view, his long gown dragging behind him, the genuine pearls on his crown, perfectly sized and completely identical. "So you wanted some Jam?" The smile of the king was pale, as if all the blood was drained from his body. He usually had to keep the castle at a high temperature, but Abbot was never sure why the king was so cold. He was one of the least dangerous of Wonderland, but ever so often, he was extremely lecherous, so Abbot still had to keep his guard up around even his own King of Diamonds. Abbot was even more embarrassed to say that he himself were the Queen of Diamonds. Thanatos was the Jack, but he had won more respect from Abbot than the King ever would.

"Alright, but you're going to have to give me something for it~" The man with the ginger hair smiled, and leaned forward towards Abbot. "No Jam without payment..." The royal man smiled, his soft hands gently taking hold of Abbot's ears.

"S-sir, you do know that I'm sup-posed to be in a huge hurry?" Abbot was blushing furiously, as his ears were one of his sensitive spots.

The white king giggled quietly. "Silly rabbit. You've again forgotten that I'm 'Your Majesty' now... I have to fix that..." The perverted king's hand began sliding up Abbot's finely chiseled chest, making Abbot gasp. "Say it..."

Abbot began sweating from fear. "... Y-Your Majesty..." The rabbit draped his arms around the man's shoulders. "I'm running out of time, really quick... I don't wanna be executed... I don't think that I could take that... I am still able to die, you know..."

The White King frowned, just as Abbot expected, and released his hold on the rabbit. "Alright. But you still have to give me payment later... When you're free from duties for the day~" The royal man snapped his fingers, and a table appeared, holding a jar of Jam.

Abbot walked over to the table and stuffed the jar deep into one of his almost never ending pockets, and smirked. "Go boil your head..." He pulled out his watch. "SHIT!" He was way past what time he should be going. A full five minutes! He ran quickly out the door, and bolted the rest of the way to the Hatter's, not stopping even to worry about the woods.


	2. The Tweedles

**Thanks so so so much for reading this so far! Please try to spread it to other people. I would appreciate it!**

**DISCLAIMER: I would just like to say that I did not create Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, because if I did, I would be a lot smarter than I am right now.**

_**Ah, if only I had a brain... wait... wrong story...**_

_**

* * *

**_

There could be the playing of a flute heard, its melody haunting, its sweet quaver the soul of the desolate wolf. A stray shriek was sounded, and Dimitri sighed in annoyance, relaxing his leather-gloved hands.

_Oh, it was only one mistake, brother. You don't need to start all over, do you?_

Dimitri smiled. _I have to get it perfect, and my goal can't err. Otherwise, I would never be as good as I am now._

Freedom grinned, his almost white skin warming somewhat. _True, and it proves, for you are almost a demon of music._

The twin cackled. _I am a demon in general. _

The shorter brother stood up, the silver adornment on his uniform cap twinkling in the sunlight. _Oh? I thought I was the demon. _The leather-clad boy pulled his whip out, and lifted the twin's chin with it. _I wonder, am I going to have to tell you that again?_

Dimitri smiled wider. _I'm afraid so._

Freedom removed the whip from his brother's face, and made as though he was going to walk deeper into the woods. _Not until you call me 'Master'._

The smaller twin's breath caught when he felt arms from behind draping over his shoulders. _You always enjoy teasing me, don't you, Dum?_

Freedom smirked. His brother's pet name for him. _Why of course, Dee. Your reactions always surprise me._

Dimitri chuckled, and the Spade suit emblem on his hat sparkled emerald. _This day has tired me, master._

Freedom gently brought one of the taller male's hands to his face, and gently kissed the back of Dimitri_'s _open palm. _I agree. Let us sleep. _

Dimitri settled the hand being held around his brother's middle, taking the other hand to dip the uniform-like hat. The pair's form began to shimmer, until they dissapeared altogether._

* * *

_

**I really wanted to put in a chapter for the Tweedles. They're my favorite characters, besides the Cheshire cat, in the whole factual book. XD**

**"If you think we're wax figures, you ought to pay you know..." "Contrariwise, if you think we're alive, you ought to speak to us."**

**PS: They're not really twins, but they like to call each other that.  
**


	3. The Tea Party

**Thanks so so so much for reading this so far! Please try to spread it to other people. I would appreciate it!**

**DISCLAIMER: I would just like to say that I did not create Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, because if I did, I would be a lot smarter than I am right now.**

_**Ah, if only I had a brain... wait... wrong story...**_

**Please forgive me for the wait. I was almost done with the chapter once before, but I... I hadn't saved it... and the internet crashed. **TT_TT** I DO NOT enjoy that... but I hope you will love this chapter!**

**Daisy: Readers better like it, or Daisy will eat them.**

**Johnathan: Now, now, Daisy. Go take a nap. Besides, they'll let us know if there's anything that needs fixing.**

**Daisy: Like the tea that Johnathan drinks?**

**Johnathan: /sigh/ Somewhat...**

**Daisy: Needs more caffeine...**

**Johnathan: That stuff you drink isn't even TEA!  


* * *

**

The scent of tea, sugar, and pastries wafted through the forest, laughter echoing among the mangled trees as merriment was heard being made. A gloved hand of green silk shook gently as it lifted a cup of fine china to a blonde male's lips, a pleasant smile spreading on the pale face as the smell of the rhubarb green tea wafted to his nose. He tipped his head back as he swallowed the warmth, its sweet yet tart flavor running down his throat, the blue emblem of clubs pierced to his ear, resembling the paint on the cup, glistened in the never-ending six o'clock sunset.

The man gently set down his cup with a 'chink' and adjusted his felt green top hat on his wavy hair. He examined himself in the reflection in the tea, and twirled a lock of chin length hair around his finger. He smirked at his appearance, his hair looking as thought he had just gotten out of bed, yet still he looked as sophisticated as a man performing a sonata in front of millions.

"Johnathan?" A feminine voice with a thick Russian accent spoke.

The blonde's golden eyes flicked to a female in her late teens. He smiled at the messy appearance of the hare, her caramel brown hair unkempt as if she had just finished a mile race. She played with her large rabbit ears of matching fur, her fingers running over the scruffy fur in excitement. Her dress, a shade of green darker than Johnathan's own green suit, was much more formal with its ordinate frills stopping just below her knee, a pattern of shining, royal blue grain embroidered here and there on the silk skirt.

"Yes, dear Marcelle?" The male's voice was deep, and could send shivers down the spine of people who didn't know him too well, as well as people who knew him on beneficial terms...

"Are we having guests today?" Marcelle asked, her emerald green eyes glowing with excitement for the answer she knew would come, but the joy died quickly when he answered her, repeating the question.

"Are we?" the Hatter, as Johnathan was sometimes called, asked.

The Hare put a yellow nail between her bleach-white teeth as she thought of a way to say it... Her language wasn't very good; It was only a step up from a seven year old in the English language. "Eh, that annoying rabbit of Diamond is coming to give us food..." she mumbled.

A large mouse tail smacked her hand like a whip. Marcelle gave a cry of pain as Johnathan stood up angrily. "Daisy! What has gotten into you?" The blonde moved his attention to the Hare's injured hand. "Are you okay, dear Marcelle?" The female nodded, biting her lip to keep from completely bawling in front of a man that was like a father to her. Her hand sure did _hurt_, though.

"Marcelle shouldn't eat fingers! Fingers are not tarts yet! When fingers are tarts, then Marcelle can eat them!" A small girl with curly red hair and the ears of a mouse defended herself. "Daisy doesn't want Marcelle to eat raw fingers!" The blonde's golden eyes steadied on the seven year old clothed in pajamas a shade lighter than his own suit. She held a doll of plush, in the shape of a bat. Her hair was pinned with a bow, her namesake in the center of the ribbons.

"**Door-mouse...**" The Hatter growled with a voice you would only hear from the mutant of a bloodthirsty bear and a pissed off alligator... if it could talk... and was about to kill you. "**What the Hare's eating habits are does not concern seven-year-olds that don't even have a good idea what tea is...**"

"Daisy says **BULLSHIT**!" The mouse yelled at the top of her voice, her attitude as fiery as her red hair. "Daisy knows what is healthy for Marcelle, and _raw fingers_ do NOT fit in with the bill!"

Johnathan sighed, taking his seat, not wanting to get his ear blown out. "Just drink your fake tea... Seriously, you should switch to something with less caffeine... Like NOT Herbal-Matte..."

Daisy's ears lowered like a wolf ready to strike. "Herbal-Matte IS tea! It just isn't made from Camellia Sinensis!"

Johnathan's top hat sagged considerably as he slowly stood up, calmly grabbing a silver knife. "Camellia Sinensis is the _only_ plant that makes actual tea, all the rest of the herbal infusions are just **_WANNABES_**_!_" The Hatter then threw his silverware at the Door-mouse, who ducked just in time as it grazed a curl of hair, cutting off a dime's length. The trio heard a frightened yell from a rabbit trying to dodge the flying missile, but none paid attention.

"**_HAT BASTARD! YOU WILL SUFFER FOR MESSING UP DAISY'S HAIR!_**"

"Oh, the Rabbit of the Diamond is here," Johnathan said calmly, the black cloud of anger vanishing immediately from the area.

"Abbot! Has Abbot the Rabbit brought a baby yet?" Daisy used the annoying rhyme the man so hated.

"N-not yet... I just came to give this jam..." He brought it out as he said this, his ears low. He was still a bit spooked from the flying knife...

"JAM!" Marcelle jumped onto the table and ran across it, leaping off of it onto an Abbot that was frozen with fear. "Jam jam jam jam jam jam jam..."

"G-g-get off of me..." Abbot's face was red, and he was shaking. He _never_ planned on having _Marcelle_ jump on him... The thought made him sick. "Please."

Marcelle stood up with a harrumph, and straightened out her skirt. "You don't seem to mind when a male jumps on you..." She grinned when Abbot responded with a face even redder.

"Th-that's none of your business..." Abbot muttered, his ears tucked to him, and quietly set the jam on the table.

"Of course it's our business! What if you were a customer one day?" Johnathan piped up, grinning. "We aim to please, and you wouldn't be very happy with a female, it seems..." Johnathan's eye glowed, and flicked to the Hovel that was nearby. Abbot backed away slowly towards the gate, his eyebrows sloping down in anger.

"I-I-I'm just here to run errands... Despite my appearance, I'm not the deviant you think I am..." His large rabbit ears, the culprits that screamed he was into seriously kinky stuff, twitched nervously. He prided himself on the fact he wasn't like most rabbits... He didn't jump on everything that moved, like many did, including Marcelle. He frowned upon the creatures that derived their existence to be purposed for sexual excitement. He was better than them... His red eyes stranded to the Door-mouse. She would soon learn of the Hatter and the Hare's practices, how they earned so much money. He was surprised that they had earned status in their work as well. He noticed a card of Clubs peeking out the door. Barely wearing anything, the whore's face was in a lusty grin, and the male winked with a green eye. Abbot's eyes widened, and quickly turned to leave. "Goodbye. I do not wish to talk to the likes of you, but it seems I have the misfortune of being the messenger boy of this world."

Johnathan grinned wider. "Oh, and Rabbit boy," the blonde called teasingly, "I'd like you to give this back to Mrs. Neko... She forgot it last time she was here." The man pulled a small gold ear-ring out of his pocket. "She's making plans for a special little guy..." The golden eyed male grinned. Abbot frowned, annoyed that the Hatter even dare mention the female's name.

"I will get it to the Cat as soon as I can." Aside from sexual deviants, he really hated the Cat. He refused to call Harriet by name, a large disrespect in that country, and Abbot lived and breathed by manners. Only as the Cat. She always corrected him, and was extremely rude to him, and would never show up anywhere on time, yet suddenly appear out of nowhere to scare the living daylights out of you. Oh, right. And her mother was a Card of Clubs. That usually made you the dirt on people's shoes.

Johnathan noticed the hate in Abbot's ruby eyes as he had mentioned 'the Cat' that he had raised, and Marcelle noticed this as well. The girl had been like an older sibling to her. "I hope you try to be a bit more pleasant when you see Harriet. Otherwise, you won't be welcome into the Club's territory. Not even to visit her son."

Abbot's eyes grew wide. "The Cat has a son?" His ears grew lopsided. He hadn't heard of a son. "Who's the Father?"

Johnathan's eyes glowed as he sat back in his chair. He looked into his tea cup sadly as he mentioned a name that still pulled at his heartstrings. "Cheshire."

Abbot understood the mournful look in the blonde's eyes. Cheshire was every-body's friend, and everyone had loved him, some how. In Abbot's case, they were comrades in arms from the war with the Bandersnatch. Cheshire was the Joker of the Deck in their world. He made a living from being the neutral man of the territories. Sadly, about six months ago, he had suddenly disappeared, and the thing that had been left was only a golden pocket watch.

Abbot had been the man entrusted with it, because he was infamous for never breaking a rule, and the rule was to report it to one of the higher-ups, either the King of Hearts or Diamonds, if anything important or interesting happened while in his care.

"Ah... I see... I'll deliver it as soon as possible." He took the ear-ring from the Hatter's outstretched hand, and briskly walked in the direction of his next destination. He would have to take a detour to the Cat's... Just what he needed. He began running through the forest, his anger making him ignore the sounds of the Tulgey Wood.

* * *

**TADAAAA. I finally managed to write something in. Aren't I cool... Haha, no. He'll visit Xanatos pretty damn soon, so you'll actually know who I'm talking about. YAY FOR KNOWLEDGE. *fistpump* Wish me luck on updating QUICKLY. HAHA.**


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